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Thursday, January 3, 2019

Finding my Voice

Photo by Rodion Kutsaev on Unsplash

My husband and I have decided that this feels like a prep year. I'm not sure what we are prepping for, but I believe it will be some sort of lifestyle change for us over the next few years. We have learned to listen to these gut instincts and follow them through.

We have both independently set our focus on creative talents. We don't have the same interests, but we both enjoy seeing each other learn and grow as an artist and a person. The most important part is we are not afraid to try. We are analyzing our time and money management to make efficient use of our time together and independently, while still having time for rest and self-care. I am looking forward to this year because I am already feeling the benefits of clearing away mental and physical distractions.

What this looks like right now is not nearly as inspirational. I am currently going through all my old newspapers and ideas and archiving them digitally. Turns out this is quite a big undertaking. Being an aspiring writer all my life, at least subconsciously, I have managed to gather quite a bit of paper that has traveled with us for years. When we move, we lug several boxes of photos, articles and keepsakes that we never even look at. We even carried them across the country when we moved from South Carolina to Washington State.

Now that I have done an overhaul on my own mental and physical state, it is time to focus on my surroundings. We aspire to travel, but it is hard to be able to pick up and move with a couple hundred pounds of paper weighing us down. So I've been trying to lessen our carbon fingerprint.

As I was sorting through these papers yesterday, I made this statement: "I am very proud of these accomplishments, but I need them as a stepping stone, not a paper weight." This really resonated with me as I continued going through the process today. By archiving these documents, I am putting them in a format that I can easily access and share. The pile of newspapers behind the couch in the living room is just not a useful place; not to mention I could use the space to create a better flow for the room.

Now that I am processing these papers, I am seeing where to go from here. My goal for this year is to find my voice. To stop being bogged down about whether my work is good or how long it takes to develop and just do whatever is in front of my in that moment.

Remembering how joyful I was being able to meet and showcase so many amazing people and artists was inspiring. I want to collaborate with people again and start making something happen this year. I need my voice to be able to communicate with others. I have to know who I am so I can add my individual perspective to an enterprise.

I need to let go of all those iterations and just concentrate on making the outcome great. It's time to let go of what I think my life will look like and just enjoy each moment for the beauty it holds and the learning opportunities that help me grow.

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